Marriage Advice

[George Bailey]

This may or not be the appropriate place to seek such advice and thoughts, but what the hell. You guys seem perfectly fine in talking about deep stuff such as politics and religion. Why not a little marriage advice....

First, a little background info: The wife and I have been married for 3 years now. We're both apx. 30 years old. I've been wanting to start a family and the discussion came up the other night and she informed me that she's "not sure" if she want's to have kids and couldn't really give me a good reason against it either. Obviously I was surprised, but not completely shocked as she's always delayed the "getting pregnant" discussion as much as possible.

We've certainly talked about this before we were married and both were under the understanding that this was something we wanted to do together in the future, although no time table has been set. Now, with her uncertainty, what do I do now?

Is this a deal-breaker? Personally, I don't believe in divorce and come from a long line of family members who don't either. As a matter of fact, I don't think anyone on my side has ever divorced. With that said though, I do want a family. Plus, I'm not getting any younger either.

Now I poll this wonderful forum's wealth of advice and experience. What would you do?

[msmith198025]

Moved the thread to the round table.

Welcome to the forum george, hopefully people will have some advice to give you.

When I have time a little later today, ill read it through and see what my thoughts are. Just really busy today

Welcome again

[Skyhi]

Man....that's a tough one....I don't know.

[vurbano]

Get rid of her. She's going to leave anyway eventually. Find a woman with more maternal instincts. Your "wife" probably isnt sure she wants to be married or married to you thats why she doesnt want children.

[msmith198025]

Hmm, is it a deal breaker? Only you can answer that, because what may be a deal breaker for me, may be nothing to someone else.

I would recommend having a serious discussion with your wife about what you want, and what she wants, and what BOTH of your expectations are as a family. Try not to be accusing, just state your argument in a calm rational manner.

Another option for you two may be adoption.

[msmith198025]

Get rid of her. She's going to leave anyway eventually. Find a woman with more maternal instincts. Your "wife" probably isnt sure she wants to be married or married to you thats why she doesnt want children.

That is possible, but I would have a huge heart to heart before I just got rid of her.

[HDRoberts]

If she says no kids, send her my way.:D

[msmith198025]

Haha, HDRoberts is our Anti Kid guy just so you know:D

[Skyhi]

if she says no kids, send her my way.:d
Lol! :D:D:D

[George Bailey]

Thanks for the advice guys and I'm happy to report there's good news in the Bailey household!

We had a heart-to-heart last night and she basically said that kids were something she wants... in the future, but not now. She went on to say that she still wanted to get a few things accomplished before she started getting knocked up. (Ie. moving up in the company she works, vacationing, paying off more bills, etc). She seems to think once she get's pregnant, other things in life will be thrown for a loop.

Long story short. This is good news for all. We're going to start a family in a year or two. I suppose I can wait.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

[msmith198025]

Good to hear!

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Feel free to stick around and participate in our forum:thumbup: